Choosing the worst car names in history is hard when there are so many hilariously bad ones, but this is a selection of our favorites.
Car manufacturers must find it more and more difficult to come up with names for new cars, but these ones sound like bad jokes – or maybe it’s kinder to say that some of them were lost in translation…
Still, life would be kinda boring if we were stuck with variations of letters and numbers – something in which Lamborghini seems to specialize with such classics as the Gallardo LP 550-2. Just trips off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Anyway, brace yourself for some of the worst car names ever – and spare a thought for the poor cars themselves.
10 Dodge Swinger
This one sounds like a crap baseball player, but was in fact a 2-door Dart hardtop. There was also a 4-door version but not many were made.
Is this the kind of car you could take to a certain type of party…? Just leave the keys in the bowl on your way in (actually, that might be a pretty good way of getting rid of the car).
9 Nissan Homy Super Long
Wow…what were they smoking when they came up with this one? Is this a car or something you’d find in the Victoria’s Secret catalog?
This Nissan is in fact an unassuming van/minibus and I suppose, to be fair, it is super long…not sure you’d want to pick up your homies in it, though. And, yup, you’re not the only one that read that as Horny.
8 Geely Beauty Leopard
Chinese manufacturer Geely produced this pretty underwhelming coupe. It has a 1.3-liter engine and has a top speed of, wait for it, 111mph.
This car does have an unexpected claim to fame, in that it was the first vehicle to have its own karaoke machine. Well, I guess it would take your mind off how awful the car is.
7 Mazda Bongo Friendee
A cheery-sounding van, this always conjures up images of a slightly manic, smiling bongo player on a roadtrip with his bongo-playing pals (well, it does to me at least).
Some versions even had pop-up canopies and many vans were tricked-out in a ‘pimp my ride’ style. They seem to have a cult following and I can see why. I mean, just saying the name would bring a smile to your face!
6 Studebaker Dictator
Another gem here! This one might appeal to a certain, shall we say, overbearing type of person? The car was a fairly unremarkable sedan, although it did look rather menacing in black. I can imagine Donald Trump in one of these.
Produced from 1927-37, it was the cheapest car in Studebaker’s range – the more expensive models were the Commander and the President.
5 Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard
Maybe Isuzu were angling for an appearance in the Harry Potter movies? This would have been great for Dumbledore! Top marks for creativity here, but I seriously question the sanity of the person that signed this one off. This just had to make it into this list of the worst car names.
Isuzu has enjoyed other car-naming shenanigans. How about the Isuzu Bighorn (possibly a distant cousin of the Nissan Homy Super Long)?
This one was bound to have spawned lots of innuendo, such as, ‘Do you mind if I park my Bighorn here?’ and, ‘I’m not sure my Bighorn will fit in there.’ It’s almost tempting to buy one just for the comedy value.
4 Great Wall Wingle
Not to be outdone, Great Wall waded in with this classic. The name doesn’t exactly lend this small pickup truck a rugged air. It’s sold in Europe as the more logically named Steed.
According to Urban Dictionary, ‘wingle’ is ‘a contraction of giggle and wince. For those moments when one’s first reaction is to laugh, but the sobering truth overrides the momentary reaction of amusement.’ I’d say that perfectly covers my reaction to this car – well done, Great Wall!
3 Dacia Duster
The most modern entry here, and a car which is proving to be quite popular in the UK – as most compact SUVs are. But Duster? Really? Still, for no-frills, cheap motoring, you can’t really argue with it.
There is also the Stepway, which is a version of the Dacia Sandero – what, a cross between a sandal and a Segway?
2 Suzuki Every Joypop Turbo
The word ‘turbo’ makes pretty much everything sound better, but in this case it only adds a slightly disturbing element. A joypop turbo? I shudder to think…
This little guy is powered by a turbocharged 660cc engine and, all things considered, I think I’d rather walk than drive it. I don’t like the idea of being overtaken by wildlife…
1 Ford Probe
A favorite of colorectal surgeons around the world, this was a 90s coupe that wasn’t long for this world.
The Probe was introduced to compete with the Acura Integra and Nissan 200SX, and was a product of a Ford and Mazda venture known as the AutoAlliance International. The car proved to be deeply unpopular, so perhaps Ford should have probed harder on this one…
Worst car names: Honorable mentions
There were many contenders for this list of the worst car names. The ones that just failed to make it include the AMC Gremlin, which was actually a pretty cute car, and the Honda Life Dunk, which I guess is a car with a love of basketball or maybe donuts.
The Daihatsu Applause and the Mitsubishi Carisma were also in the mix – cars which I can only assume were named ironically. Mitsubishi also contributed such great efforts as the Pistachio and the Lettuce, so they at least get an honourable mention.
Are there any other terrible car names you can think of?